2008-04-27

Not Like Aesop's Fables... The first Fable!

Once upon a time, in a very vast forest, so vast in fact that even the old Tortoise never saw the end of it, there lived a Snail, young and lissome, like all the little Snails in the forest. He played with all kinds of other animals, lots of different games, hide and seek, tag, he was running and jumping here and there, swimming in the lake with his pals the Lions and was having a whale of a time. When he got tired, he sat down to rest like all little tired Snails do. And then he got up and climbed up on the trees and did all sort of mischief. He had a pretty certain future laid out for him. His father had big dreams for him and his mother even bigger. The little Snail though grew up and started getting into bad company, that is to say the Squirrel. The Squirrel was very shady, had a very suspiciously bushy tail, moved in a shady way, and all day he sat on tree branches and collected hazelnuts and walnuts. Some animals said that he had dealings with the gangs of the other side of the forest. The little Snail was impressed with the bushy tail of the Squirrel and immediately made friends with him. He too wanted a bushy tail like the Squirrel’s and although he begged and begged his parents to get him one this just couldn’t happen. This led to the big fight with his parents and him leaving home. His father couldn’t bear the pain of his only son leaving home and died. Some say it was because he ate a whole walnut, others – who know – say that he died of a broken heart. The little Snail’s mother started consorting with other animals and took care of them and caressed them at nights for some food crumbs they gave her if she did her job correctly. The little Snail was now happy or at least he thought he was, with his friend the Squirrel. The Squirrel gave him one of his nuts to nibble. That day the little Snail cried. A lot. In one moment the little Snail had grown up. He remembered then, how happy he was in his old home where he played and sang innocently and joyfully. There was no turning back now. Innocence seemed to be a washed-out memory, he would enjoy from then on, only in his dreams. Shortly after, he began to serve the Squirrel and do odd jobs for him, but the little Snail still thought of him as his dear friend. One dark night, his dear friend the Squirrel, sent the little Snail to do some business with the jackals at the other side of the forest. He betrayed him though and the jackals awaited the little Snail with very cruel and very violent intentions. The poor little Snail, not knowing the danger he was in or knowing that the Squirrel had betrayed him, went to the place where all shady business of the forest was conducted. All the animals of the forest knew what happened there at night, or rather they didn’t want to know and so none of them dared to even come close. There were no witnesses in that place. Not live ones, at least. The poor little Snail remembered his wise old father who always said to him, “The jackals usually hide behind the trees, my precious little Snail!” and so he approached the meeting place with caution, as quietly as he could. There was no one there -- at first glance. He took a closer look though and saw tails jutting out the trees and immediately became suspicious.

“These must be jackals!” he thought and set out to leave as un-noticed as he came.

The Owl, however, who sat on a branch of the tall oak tree, cried, “Good morning, Snail!”

That was the signal. The jackals that were hiding behind the trees sprang out and started to run after him. The chase was remorseless and ceaseless. The poor little Snail running before the jackals came across an Ant who went there to be alone with his thoughts. He saw the Snail and the howling jackals and stepped aside.

Good morning, Ant!” That was all the Snail had time to whisper gasping for breath.

“Good morning, Snail!” replied the Ant, but before he got the chance to finish his “Good morning,” the Snail was already miles away.

The jackals, who were running after him trying desperately to catch up, saw the Ant stopped and stood over him very threateningly. Τhe Ant was petrified. He just shut his eyes tightly, and took a short breath. You could only hear the jackals, who licked their lips, trying to catch their breath.

The poor Ant knew what horrible fate awaited him. He opened his eyes, gathered up all the courage he had left and said, “Omerta!

After a few moments of nightmarish silence the jackals said, “Omerta!”

The deal was sealed. It was the law of silence. The poor Ant would be spared and no one would ever ever know what happened.

What happens in the forest stays in the forest, Ant!” said one jackal.

“We said already, Omerta!” replied the Ant.

The jackals laughed hard and continued to run after the Snail who by now had gotten almost too far away. The poor Snail in a state of absolute panic was desperately looking for some place to hide. He looked around and rushed into a dark cave and because the night had already fallen and he was very tired and scared, he found somewhere warm and cozy to rest on and sleep. He heard from outside the jackals hurling and looking furiously for him. There in his warm extemporaneous shelter he dreamt of his parents who had so many high hopes for him. And now he was resting in a strange, cold and dump cave, lost in the forest, far away from the pond where he played and swam too happy to care about anything. Far far away. He cried himself to sleep. When the dawn came, the Snail woke up and realized that the soft warm and cosy place he slept was in fact a Bear who was sleeping carefree. The Snail got very scared. He carefully got up, got dressed and tried to leave without making the slightest noise. As his bad luck would have it though, he stepped on a twig. A hardly audible “Crack” was heard and the Bear, who we all know is a very light sleeper, woke up and yawned. The Snail thought for a moment to run for his life, but his second thought was that this would be a simple suicide because the Bear would catch up to him and gulp him down or worse, she would tell the jackals that she saw him. So he ran straight back to her arms, he looked at her playfully and said, “You were wonderful.

The Bear was very startled. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and said, “I dont remember! We were together yesterday?

Didn’t you notice?” replied the Snail looking a bit worried.

“No! No! I didn’t mean it like that!” she said reassuringly.

And the Snail showed that he was very upset. Inside, however, he was thinking, “Cool… I got away with it!”

“I must have eaten a lot of honey yesterday! I always get dizzy afterwards and can’t remember a thing!” said the Bear.

“Do you love me?” asked the Snail with teary eyes.

“Yes of course! Of course I do! Naturally,” she replied to the Snail and gave him a friendly pat on the back.

I know that it is rather soon but it does not cost us anything to give it a try!” said the Snail passionately.

“Yes! Yes… Why not? It’s just... If only I could remember what happened yesterday,” replied the Bear, scratching her head.

“Hush!” The Snail closed the Bear’s mouth, touching her on the lips. “Its not important now!” he added, and nestled up to her.

And thus, they stayed together and lived happily ever after.

If you liked this story, there are many, many others in the book "Not Like Aesop's Fables".

BUY the book "Not ...Like Aesop's Fables" NOW on amazon.com

2008-04-26

Michael Palin is my favorite Python...

Michael Palin is my favorite Python. He began writing sketch material with Terry Jones (whom he had befriended at university) for various television shows, in addition to working in cabaret with him as a double-act. When they were recruited to the writing team of The Frost Report (BBC, 1966-67) they were brought into contact with fellow writers John Cleese (who was also a performer on the show), Graham Chapman and Eric Idle. Monty Python's Flying Circus (BBC, 1969-74) finally saw Palin and Jones united with Cleese, Chapman, Idle and Gilliam to create what was to become one of British television's most influential series, and comedy team. The perfomance and comedic genius of Michael Palin can be seen in almost all sketches, my favorite is The Fish Slapping Dance. Close your eyes, try to imagine your favorite Monty Python sketches... Is Michael Palin in all of them? The Parrot Sketch, The Spanish Inquisition, The Cheese Shop, The Lumberjack Song, The Argument Clinic, Ministry of Silly Walks... Its interesting to notice that in whatever interview that John Cleese gave, he always praised Michael Palin, that he was the only who could make him laugh, and that they were friends. Which is sweet. Michael was friend to all of them, the "most normal person in the world" as described by Graham Chapman on the set of "The Life Of Brian". Palin followed Monty Python's Flying Circus with his own superbly realised series, Ripping Yarns (BBC, 1976-79). He starred in each episode of this anthology series and co-wrote all of it with Terry Jones. You must REALLY CHECK OUT Ripping Yarns, it's great. His movies A Fish Called Wanda, Jabberwocky, Brazil and of course his unique entertaining and educative travel documentaries.

Check him out! (Search, find, watch, buy)
Brazil (1985)
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
Life of Brian (1979)
Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969 - 1974)
Ripping Yarns (1976 - 1979)
Around the World in 80 Days (1989)
Pole to Pole (1992)
Full Circle (1997)
Sahara (2002)
New Europe (2007)

Find out stuff about Michael Palin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Palin
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001589/
http://www.screenonline.org.uk/people/id/510300/
http://pythonline.com/meet/palin

Dane Cook ...the next comedy Super Star?

When Dane Cook released his second album, Retaliation, in 2005, he made history. It debuted at No. 4 on the Billboard pop chart, the hottest-selling comedy album since Martin's Wild and Crazy Guy in 1978. That year was called one of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People, listed at #34. In November of 2006, he performed at Madison Square Garden, becoming the second comedian to ever perform there. He had two sold out shows for his event at MSG. He was again named one of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People, this time reaching the high number of #4 on the list. Dane Cook's comedy is fresh, and cool and energetic and it will blow you away, and has the all the stuff that will make him the next comedy super star!...

Check him out! (Search, find, watch, buy)
Retaliation (2005)
Harmful If Swallowed (2003)
Rough Around the Edges (2007)
Vicious Circle (2006)

Find out stuff about Dane Cook
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dane_Cook
http://www.danecook.com
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0176981/
http://www.myspace.com/danecook

2008-04-25

John Cleese the ...Tallest of the Pythons

John Cleese, needs no introduction, he is an institution of comedy by himself. Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Frost Report, A Fish Called Wanda, need I go on? An asteroid and a species of lemur are named after him in his honour. He is the smartest of comedians, the greatest of comedic actors, a great innovator and he is one of my idols. Oh, dear! I just had a terrifying thought! Could you imagine our world without a John Cleese? Oh, dear!

Check him out! (Search, find, watch, buy)
Fawlty Towers (1975, 1979 only 12 episodes)
Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969 - 1974)
How to Irritate People (1968)
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
...so many I cannot possibly mention them all! The man is so prolific!

Find out stuff about John Cleese
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Cleese
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000092/
http://www.thejohncleese.com/
http://pythonline.com/meet/cleese

2008-04-23

I bet you can't find anyone like Sarah Silverman!

Sarah Silverman is unique and should be celebrated for her edgy, politically incorrect humor, and her fearless style of addressing social taboos, and controversial topics. She is so bold that she actually stood up and in the 2007 MTV movie awards, in a dumbstruck audience, said "In a couple of days, Paris Hilton is going to jail... As a matter of fact, I heard that to make her feel more comfortable in prison, the guards are going to paint the bars to look like penises. I think it is wrong, too. I just worry she is going to break her teeth on those things." ... and Paris Hilton was in the audience! You've got to admire such a comedic mind... She has been compared to the Great Lenny Bruce. "The Sarah Silverman Program" is so funny and so politically incorrect that is MUST SEE...

Check her out! (Search, find, watch, buy)
The Sarah Silverman Program (2006 - )
Jesus Is Magic (2005)
Crank Yankers (2002 - )
The Larry Sanders Show (1992 - 1998)
Mr. Show with Bob and David (1995 - 1998)

Find out stuff about Sarah Silverman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Silverman
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0798971/
http://sarahsilvermanonline.com/

It's Garry Shandling's Shows...

A lot is not known about Garry Shandling. The most imprtant thing being that he is a genius and a true pioneer of comedy. There are the comedies before "The Larry Sanders Show" and the comedies after "The Larry Sanders Show". His top-rated, award-winning show about the trials, tribulations, and double- dealing that goes on behind the scenes of a latenight talk show, a parody of the talk shows, broke every rule in the book. It had no laughter track. It didn't need to. The storylines and the comedy was so compelling that it needed no "This is where you laugh" signal. It is the first "uncomfortable" comedy, dealing with embarassing and difficult situations, long pauses, and more realism than you can take. It also featured real-life celebrity guests as they appeared on the talk show, but also as they appeared behind the scenes. This gave the celebrity guests the opportunity to play a different version of themselves, especially play with their persona. Garry Shandling paved the way for Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office (UK and US), and Extras, that is to say the cool comedies. So now you know a little about Garry Shandling...

Check him out! (Search, find, watch, buy)
The Larry Shanders Show (1992-1998)
It's Garry Shandling's Show (1986-1990)
What Planet Are you From? (2000)

Find out stuff about Garry Shandling
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0788009/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garry_Shandling

2008-04-14

Jerry Lewis... a personal hero

Jerry Lewis could do it all. He is one of the greatest comedians ever, a mime of the stature of Chaplin and Laurel, a great actor, and most important of all one the greatest filmmakers of all time. His impact on the art of filmmaking is enormous. Yes, he also directed most of his films and supervised almost all of them. Maybe that annoyed many people in Hollywood, I don't know. What I know is that he is trully a genius, he made his films way ahead of his time, so much so, that we have yet to recognize him as the great artist he was. In France, Jerry Lewis is called "Le Roi de Crazy" while in America, he is still an embarrassing and unexplained paradox, and often ridiculed. Some say it is because of his complex personality and public persona. Maybe he was too frank and honest. But whatever you think of him as a person shouldn't get in the way of judging him as an artist. It's like saying I don't think Woody Allen is a great filmmaker because I do not agree with his personal life choices. But there are many examples of such misjudgments in history. But if you think of him as retro, or too early a comedian to still make you laugh, or you have a ceratin image in your mind when you hear the name Jerry Lewis, check out his best films in the list below and get ready for something magic and personal...

Check him out! (Search, find, watch, buy)
Arizona Dream (1994)
Funny Bones (1995)
The King of Comedy (1983)
Hardly Working (1979)
The Patsy (1964)
The Nutty Professor (1963)
Cinderfella (1960)
The BellBoy (1960)

Find out stuff about Jerry Lewis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Lewis
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001471/
http://www.jerrylewiscomedy.com/

I bet you don't know... Jim Carrey

The legendary comedian Rodney Dangerfield liked young and then unknown Jim Carrey so much, that not only he hired him to perform at The Comedy Store, but also signed him to open his tour performances. Jim Carrey began as a stand up comedian, then continued to share his talent with us in the Wayans Bros 90s sketch show "In Living Color". After the 1994 film Ace Ventura: Pet Detective he really took off as a film superstar and the rest is history. Not that I do'n think that Jim Carrey is a great dramatic actor, I miss the Jim Carrey performing in crazy sketch shows and delivering brilliant comedic monologues...

Check him out! (Search, find, watch, buy)
In Living Color (1990-1994)
The Cable Guy (1996)
The Truman Show (1998)
Man on the Moon (1999)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
(2004)

Find out stuff about Jim Carrey
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Carrey
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000120/
http://www.jimcarreyonline.com/

2008-04-01

Not... Like Aesop's Fables








Not... Like Aesop's Fables, out now on amazon.com, is a book of original humorous fables. Not children's fables and not for the weak-hearted, or the easily-offended. These fables are funny and sometimes shockingly cruel or shockingly absurd. The black and edgy humor of this book will appeal to anyone who is searching for something new and ...funny! Buy it NOW!